Calling All Parents: Take the Tech Habit Challenge with Your Kids

Summer is in full swing. It's time to help your children lean into what keeps us human.

The author's children work on the summer tech habit challenge,

Summer is in full swing. This is supposed to be a time for school-aged children to read for pleasure, relax and sleep in, and get bored. But these days, video games seemed to fill all their free time. 

I am deeply unhappy about it. Every afternoon when I'm writing, I can hear 13-year-old Little J yelling through the French door between my home office and his playroom: "God dang it!" "You stupid idiot!" "Ahhh!"

I feel his tech habit isn't only harming his own digital well-being, but also setting a very bad example on his little brother, 8-year-old Baby J. Last week, I finally decide we need to have a tech habit challenge to fix the problem.

I designed my own family digital well-being activities based on Common Sense Media's Digital Well-Being Week curriculum. The idea is to:

1. Have my children explore their current tech habits. 

2. Choose one habit they'd like to change and brainstorm some healthier choices.

3. Try their new tech habit for three days.

4. Reflect on how it went, and make a plan to continue beyond just one week. 

Common Sense Media's activity is designed for middle schoolers, but I adapted it for younger children so that Baby J can also participate. 

On day one, I had them sit down at the dining table, and the three of us took turns asking one another, "What media and devices you use every day?" "What's the best part of using the tech?" and "What's the worst part?"

Little J insisted there was nothing bad about using tech, but I reminded him about his gaming rage and how it had a negative impact not only on himself, but also on me and his little brother. He reluctantly agreed. 

Then I asked them to think about what they can do differently to change that "worst part." After some thinking (and lots of whining), Little J decided he would stop yelling when he got upset in the middle of a video game. Instead, he would immediately stop playing, get up, and take a sip of water. Baby J followed his big brother's lead.

Since I'm a mom who never asks my kids to do anything that I'm not willing to do myself, I did the practice too: I decided I would stop scrolling on my phone one hour before bedtime and read a book instead.

That was day one. We tried our new habit over the next three days. On day five, we came back to the dining table and reflected on how it went. 

I was proud to share that I did well. Baby J did well too (he didn't gaming-rage much in the first place). Little J still had a few moments of gaming rage, but he was now well aware of it and knew he needed to do something about it. I made him give me the permission to be his "helper" and gently nudge him if he gaming-raged again.

I am happy to report I've since been able to write in peace in the afternoon.

**This is a cross post from medium.com.